Venue : Ashoka Hotel , Chanakyapuri, New Delhi
Location : Delegates Convention Centre
Conference Topic: What Next after Now.
Speakers: Sonia Gandhi,Rahul Gandhi, Priyanka Gandhi,Robert Vadra,____,______,(for the the last minute invitees), Manmohan Singh.
With just a month away the top brass of the Congress is finalizing a strategy to counter the much dreaded anti incumbency. Hectic preparations had been underway for this square table conference being presided by incumbents who's who in order of clout they share.
Rahul Gandhi: This year has been pretty good for our party. Compared to last year where we lost 4 of 5 Lok Sabha elections, this year we lost only 3 (Though he forgot to mention that they were the only elections held ). With this improvement the party cadre is feeling rejuvenated especially the youth of the country , who need to be brought into politics .
(Delegates look for cover , the import of this is really unsettling for them. Most of the are on the wrong side of forty or are not scions of Gandhi's.
The only one's rejoicing are the BabaLog , but a sudden reminder of the necessity of winning elections , kills the joy in the incipiency.)
In fact the TRUTH is , which Gandhiji preached , we will not hide the lies , propagate secularism and the great contributions made by Nehru Gandhi clan. This is more than a winning strategy practiced by us. It should not fail us this time too. As alumnus from Harvard , we need to market a package. just as SRK did in Chak De India. Connect cricket with Politics , it encompasses youths as well. (:) :))
Mani Shankar Aiyar (Intervenes to corroborate the facts): As sports minister we organized a cricket tourney in Amethi, to a resounding success(looks to Rahul for affirmation, who still has stoicism ). This is in continuation of the Oil diplomacy which I have preaching much to the inaction of mine.
MMS: Inaction is pardonable , however i never got the link between cricket and oil diplomacy. As this is historic occasion and mutually acceptable people all round , please explain the crucial link..
MSA .. Ahemm , (still at a loss to figure out the import of what he meant , switches to hindi but fearing the recognisibility , drops his plan midway , turns to his vernacular... Tamil).
P Chidambram: (till now aloof , lightens up) ..... gives that characteristic smirk , nudges in tact approval .
I between is heard a big yawn, turning around the meeting welcomes the somnolent HRD minister. Always a wily customer, he has come with his plans of utopian social equality.
MSA sees an opportunity to escape the grilling. He changes tack and points quite objectively to the harm the policies of Quota have done to the image of Congress.
However AS , with the IQ of an amoeba and the unfailing commitment to Gandhi Parivaar, fears no one.
AS : I cannot be blamed for all the ills plagung the Congress. I am what I am and Soniaji knows that. (Loks wickedly at MMS , his bete noire. Then tactfully makes up the case to oput the blame on FM for the inflation as the real enemy.).
PC : (For the first time loses his charming smile, for he is under attack.) I am supremely confident that inflation will moderate and prices will subside, when will that happen is as good as anybody's guess, but there is no need for panic. The worst is yet to come . keep that for that moment. I have already issued all the instruction to the finance secretaries and the RBI governor who have promised to take fiscal as well as monetary steps to rein in the inflation monster. As per action items from my side, I have curbed using official car to lower fuel consumption, switched to wearing T-Shirts and Shorts instead of crisp starched dhotis and abandoned the habit of owing a shawl in the simmering delhi summer. All these measures reaffirm my commitment to global warming and energy conservation.
With his side of the story over and he having convinced his commitment to the common man , PR dasmunshi picks the ends from where PC left..
PR Dasmunshi : (Wearing that artificial seriousness which make the gullible viewer impossible to differentiate between matters of grave concern and soccer related stories. A bellicose debater whose foundations of debating lay on volume of the argument rather than depth, starts and all hindi stalwarts start turning in their grave after such a gender bender bizzare )
DD News is the mouthpiece of Congress... I am plannig to give party tickets to LCS for his unflittering sycophancy to the ideals of Soniaji. From now on every day we shall telecast shows that will malign our political oponents under the garb of saving secularism. I have managed to buld a strong team of undercover congress agents disguising as independent journalists who will take the offence to the oppositions camp.
